Finding out your partner has cheated isn’t always as dramatic as in the movies. There might not be screaming, throwing things, or slamming doors. Instead, you might feel a mix of anger, sadness, disappointment, and even self-blame.
The first thing to remember is that it’s not your fault. People cheat for various reasons, and while some might try to blame their actions on their partner, the responsibility for the affair lies with the person who cheated.
If your partner admits to have an affair, it might feel like your relationship is beyond repair. Many people think cheating means you either have to stay together or break up.
But for many couples, the situation is more complicated. Healing from an affair takes time and effort, but it is possible if both of you are committed to making it work. There is no set timeline for recovery—it might take years.
Take a Look at a Real-Life Example When Her Boyfriend Cheat on Her
My boyfriend has changed a lot since he cheated. When we decided to get back together, he truly turned things around. He keeps his phone unlocked all the time, is very thoughtful and considerate, and really looks out for me. I can’t deny that he loves and care about me. Although he always treats me well ever since we have been together.
That been said, there is no trust. I still feel a lot of anxiety and pain when I know he’s talking to another woman at work. I’m afraid of every woman now. I’m attractive and successful (not arrogant, just honest). He cheated on me with a woman who, frankly, has nothing going for her. She’s obese, has acne, is an alcoholic, cheats on her partners, is uneducated, and is rude and aggressive.
Now, I don’t know who is a “threat.” I see every woman as a threat, whereas before, I knew his type and who he found attractive. We had such a strong connection and love that I never thought he’d stray. Everyone who saw us thought we were mismatched. I knew there was a big difference between us since day one lol, but I loved him deeply and found him incredibly attractive.
I can’t shake this feeling of vertigo about the whole situation. I feel like I was blind before, and now I fear he might secretly have an interest in another woman or is planning his next affair. Even though he has shown consistent change for the last six months and leaves his phone unlocked, I still feel anxious. The trust is gone, and though it’s being rebuilt, there are many triggers and I constantly feel on edge.
Our sex life has never recovered. We used to be very active in the kink community and had long, intense sessions. Now, it’s different and not as fun because the trust isn’t there. I sometimes think about what the sex with “her” was like and if he did the same things with her.
Most painfully, my confidence hasn’t returned. I know I’m considered a “10” by many people. I’m a great girlfriend, educated, compassionate, and successful yes, I am. But despite all this, I still feel inadequate and like a second choice. I judge myself for getting back with someone who disrespected me and left our home to pursue something with someone else.
Click Here: 11 Behavior that Destroy Relationship
I even have thoughts about what other men are out there and what I’m missing, which I never had before. Part of me feels like a loser for sticking it out. Even though he treats me well now, the damage and intense suffering I endured makes me question both my sanity and my taste.
Steps to Rebuild Trust with Your Partner When They Cheat
1. You must be Transparent and Open to each other:
Like in the example above, the cheating partner must be willing to be completely transparent. Example is like when you keep your phone unlocked, being honest with your partner about your whereabouts, and communicating openly about your interactions brings things back on track.
2. Change Your Behavior:
Consistent is also a key here, positive behavior changes over time, which helps to rebuild trust. The cheating partner needs to show through actions, not just words, that they are committed to change.
3. Seek Professionals for Help:
Therapy or counseling can provide a safe space for you and your partners to express your feelings and work through the issues. A professional e.g. An expert in relationship counseling can guide you to rebuild trust, base on their past experience in the field.
4. Patience and Time:
Healing from infidelity takes time. You and your partners need to be patient with the process and with each other. It’s important to know that setbacks will happen for sure in a relationship, but they can be achieved with continued effort.
5. Rebuild Your Intimacy:
Physical intimacy may suffer after infidelity. It’s essential to rebuild this aspect of the relationship slowly and with mutual consent. Been open to communication about needs and also boundaries is also crucial.
Read on what cause cheating in the first place
6. Self-Care and Confidence Building:
The betrayed partner needs to focus on self-care and rebuild their confidence. This might involve pursuing personal interests, spending time with supportive friends and family, and perhaps even individual therapy.
